How to stay in truth!
How about those days when you just don’t feel good, emotionally or physically and yet you feel that you have to put on your happy face. You run into someone and they ask how you are and, out of habit, you say “Fine, how are you?” Then you say to yourself, “Well that was one big fat lie. I don’t feel fine at all but they don’t want to hear that, I can’t say that !
Of course there are the complainers who have no trouble at all letting it all hang out, much to your chagrin. You really didn’t need to hear their story when yours may be equally intense, if not more so.
What do you do or say in those circumstances?
Being honest and diplomatic is a fine art.
People generally perceive me as diplomatic and suppose I am in a constant state of harmony since I usually hold a calm demeanor. Sometimes it is true but other times….well, I often think, if they only knew!
I used to think that because I was a counselor and since harmony was a major focus for me that I wasn’t supposed to feel bad and I certainly wasn’t supposed to be truthful if I was feeling bad. That is such a trap and usually leads to us entering into a state of self-contempt. Then we shut down our hearts – to ourselves and therefore to others.
So, how do you stay in integrity and and honesty?
1) The gesture of placing your hand over your heart is one that I have found to be incredibly effective. When you are confronted with the dilemma of being honest and yet you don’t want to involve others in your life story, first place your hand over you heart and commit to telling the truth.
2) Be willing for them to react in whatever way they do. Remember, you are not responsible for other people’s reactions or emotions.
3) Then, choose your words carefully – only reveal as much as feels comfortable. “I’m going through some challenges…but I’ll get through them. Thanks for asking. ” If they want to offer help in some way, take your time in responding. If in fact they can help and their help comes unconditionally, you may decide to share more. Otherwise take a moment, thank them and let them know that this is something you’re working out yourself.
When it comes to others complaining to you, you may gently – with hand over heart – tell them that you have your own challenges and that’s enough. Don’t fall prey to “misery loves company”- it is so easy to do. Suggest that instead of focusing on the bad, that you both should focus on the good.
Our divine mirrors – as I like to call them – are always around us, reminding us of what we need to work on – thank them. Thank them for the reminder of what you need to focus on, of those areas within that are not yet fully anchored in self-love!
Finally, ask for help and be willing to receive it! I am here to assist your evolution!
A session with me can make such a difference in your life – just read some of the testimonials I have posted on my site.
In Peace and Love,